Oh Sugar, Sugar!!

Well, I have been absolutely horrible about updating. I have been a little busier, between doing some store resets for work and then having to go clear to Cleveland for a meeting. But really it all boils down to being lazy. I just haven't felt like doing much, I'm still awaiting the return of my energy. I am starting to think that it is never coming back and I will be a lazy slug forever. Most of the time I've gotta force myself to do stuff and that just stinks, but the stuff has got to get done.

Let's start with little Ms. Emma. She is not so little, I swear she is a teenager stuck in a 2 year olds body. The other day I was trying to rock her to sleep for night night. Of course she just kept talking and I told her she needs to be quiet. She looked at me and said "whatever". No kidding, she told me whatever about a total of 6 times. Total teenager already. She also says "Oh my gosh", "Uh oh spaghetti o's" and the newest is "I like that". Or like tonight I fixed spaghetti for supper and I asked her if she wanted some and she said "I like Spaghetti". It is just too cute!!! Oh by the way, Emma is a noodle freak!!! Usually for supper I try to fix some kind of noodle with whatever else I am making, b/c Emma will eat the crap out them! I don't know what it is, but she just loves noodles!

As far as potty training goes, we haven't really been too successful, but I haven't really been pushing the issue. She just totally doesn't seem too ready for it. We have a potty chair and she loves sitting on it, esp with her clothes on. I will take her into the potty when I have to go and she will sit on her potty, but nothing happens. I'm just not sure how to go about this whole potty training thing. Part of it, I know, is my fault. I just haven't had the energy to put into it. But I've gotta start, I've gotta make myself. I would really love to have her trained before the baby comes. So, my goal over the next 5 months is to get her potty trained, plus a whole lot of other things, but I really need to get her potty trained.

Other things on my todo list is, get this pig sty of a house organized. I really need to go thru stuff and get rid of the stuff we don't need. This spring we are doing some remodeling. We currently have a 2 bedroom, 2 bath house. Well we are gonna turn the one bathroom (which is a big bathroom, it's the same size as Emma's bedroom) into the baby's room, then we are going to add on another bathroom, and enclose a porch to make into a computer room. Not only are we doing that, but we are gonna move a couple walls, we are gonna move an interior wall to make our bedroom bigger and then we are gonna move our counter top and cabinets over to make our kitchen bigger. Plus, Matt says we have to reshingle the roof. Boy oh boy do we have a busy spring coming up. I hope to have it all done by the end of the school year so that we can put our house back up for sale. Supposively the end of the school year thru summer is the best time to sell a house. Of course the market isn't the greatest right now, but with all the improvements we are doing it will make it more likely to sell. So I guess we will just have to wait and see.

Okay, onto what lead to the title of the blog. My biggest problem, the stress of my life, Sugar!!! I just don't understand it for anything. I will follow my carb intake and even stay under what I am allowed but my sugar reading one hour later will still be high. I just don't get it at all!! It is becoming quite frustrating and stressful, which stress will make your readings go high too. I recently had Panera Bread for the first time (we don't have one in Lima yet) and I absolutely loved it!!! I stayed under my 60 grams and my reading was 183, I am suppose to stay between 90 and 130. I just don't get it. Then tonight I ate the full 60 grams and my reading was only 113. It is just baffling me. The nurse at the diabetic center called me this past Tuesday to get my readings. She said I was doing a good job with staying within my carbs, but my body just isn't producing the insulin needed. She was like "We are talking about insulin today, but in the next few weeks we just might be." That means I'm gonna be giving myself shots!! I HATE NEEDLES!! I am freaked out beyond belief, which makes me feel stupid b/c a friend of mines little boy who is only 5 has to take 5 shots a day. And he does it like a champ. Here I am, almost 26, and the thought of it can easily bring me to tears. Yes, some of that might be hormones, but it still scares me senseless. If we didn't already know that we are stopping after this baby, this pregnancy would have made my mind up. I hate not being able to enjoy this pregnancy, between the sugar crap and plus I'm just a lot more busy with having Emma. Maybe it will be different once the baby starts kicking. It just seems like I am so focused on this sugar crap that I'm just not as excited and that makes me feel horrible, like a bad mom. Anyways, I better move on before this makes the tears start flowing.

I have yet to gain any weight. I am 16w 4d, and no weight gain. That is also bothering me, a lot of women are like "you should be happy that you aren't gaining weight". But it is worring me, I should have gained something by now. I eat whenever I allowed to and when I'm not allowed carbs I try to eat a salad or something. So, it can' be because I'm not eating, it's just so weird. I go back to my doc on the 27th, I'll see what he says. Oh, and I go back to the diabetic center on the 22nd, we'll see if they sentence me to shots then. UGH!!

Onto other things. Matt got a new position at work. He gets to work M-F, all during the day. He has every weekend off, unless he desides to work. I love it!! It is absolutely fabulous having him home in the evenings and weekends. The only downside is, the last week of this month he has to go to Arizona for the whole week. I have to take him to the airport on that Sunday morning and pick him up the following Friday night. Matt and I have never been apart for more than one night, so this will be weird for me, but I will make it. I'm worried about Emma. She absolutely loves Daddy, I'm not sure how she is gonna react. I think she will go crazy and it will probably be a hard week. But I'm sure we will make it thru it. Oh and he is gonna be gone for my appointment. I'm not sure if I'm gonna get an ultrasound, but if I do they might be able to tell me what we are having and he will miss it. That sucks, but I thought I would have a balloon sent to his hotel saying what it is. I thought it would be fun and a cute way for him to find out. We'll see.

Well, I've rambled on forever now and Emma has got one stinky butt. So I better go change her before she stinks up the whole house. lol