Do you ever?

Do you ever feel like you are just not quite good enough? Do you ever feel like you have failed? I mean, this is stuff that people feel at some point, right? Even if people don't want to admit it, they do, right? Well, I'm there, I've been there for a while now. I feel like I just can't do anything up to par, like my best isn't enough. Then again, am I giving my best? Sometimes I don't feel like it. Heck, I just don't feel like doing anything. It's like I'm going thru the motions, but that is it sometimes. Don't get me wrong, it's not like that 24/7. There are moments thru the day when I get back to myself and I'm happy and playing around like the person I know I am. One minute I can be blah then happy then straight back to blah. What is the deal? Is it the winter blues, or just the plain old blues? Today I have decided that I need to sit down with my brother and sister-in-law and let them know that I can't babysit anymore. Everyone that knows me, knows I'm not the babysitting kind. I've actually never wanted to, except when I was younger. I really don't have the patience for it. Well, back in September I started watching my nephews. I really wanted to be able to help my brother out and wanted my nephews somewhere where I knew they would be ok and would want to go. I've wanted to give up a long time ago, but I don't want to let my family down. I hate letting people down, I hate not being able to give people what they want. I love to do stuff for people to make them happy, I guess I am a people pleaser. Well, I've gotta put that aside and do what is best for me, mentally and therefore, what is best for my kids. They don't deserve to have their mom in this wreck if there is a way to fix it. So, here I am thinking about how to say it to my brother, but it has got to be said and done. Hopefully this will help with this blah mood.