Shoot'em Up!!

Well, the time has come for my insulin. I got the lovely phone call on Thursday afternoon. Man oh man did my heart drop down into my gut. I thought I was ready for this, I thought I had myself talked into everything being ok. Boy was I wrong. I went into the appointment worried to death. The nurse asked before I left if I wanted to try a test run, I was like that's ok I'll do it when I have to.

Well, that night before I ate supper I sat in the bathroom for about 10 minutes crying because I didn't want to do it. I was so scared that it wasn't even funny. After awhile I decided to go get a ice pack from the freezer and numb it so I wouldn't feel the needle. I did it and all was good or so I thought. I don't know what I did wrong, but boy do I have one heck of a bruise from that shot. And I still have that bruise, it looks pretty gross. Then the next day for lunch I iced it to numb it and it went fine. At this point I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it without the ice, but what I didn't know is I was gonna do it that night. We went out to Applebee's to eat that night and my courage was gonna be tested. I went into the bathroom and did it without even thinking about it and it didn't hurt! What a huge relief!! I have been doing fine ever since! I am enjoying my new found freedom of being able to eat more of what I want. I've had mac n' cheese and I mean a nice full cup of it!!! I've had a Big Mac and fries! I am so happy about being able to eat again, it is just weird being able to eat like this. The only thing is, I've gotta guess how many carbs I'm going to eat, b/c I have to take my shot before I eat. And I have to dial up for every 15 carbs, if I guess too high then I can have low blood sugar and if I don't dial up enough then I'll still have high blood sugar. So, it is a guessing game, but one I don't mind playing!! This may sound weird, but I am so glad I am on shots!! I can eat again!!!!!

I'm Officially Sick and Tired of IT!!

I wanna eat what I want when I want! I WANT CHOCOLATE MILK!! I want to inhale some chocolate cake and I mean a huge piece and right after having a huge carb filled supper!! I want to go to IHOP and eat a huge stack of pancakes with their butter pecan syrup!! I don't want to feel like I have to exercise after every stickin meal, just to keep my sugar reading down! I am so sick of having to wonder how many carbs are in a serving or being hungry but not allowed to have any carbs right then. I want a regular Mt. Dew!! I am going to be 25 weeks tomorrow, so I only have between 13 and 15 weeks to go, but right now that seems like an eternity!! I guess I have just hit a breaking point or this is my usually time to rag and I'm just having the emotional/moody part of that. lol

I really feel bad for the people that have to do this all the time, for their entire lives. I totally understand why my grandparents cheat on their diets and will eat the yummy stuff. Now I know how they must get annoyed with the people that give them a hard time for doing it. What about the kids that have to do this from such a young age. They don't get the chance to go to Dairy Queen and just get a huge hot fudge brownie sundae. When I lived in Groveport, I would ride my bike to school. I was in 6th grade and I would purposely take the long way home just to stop at the Dairy Queen and get a chocolate cone with sprinkles. I loved it. What about going to the pool, Melissa and I use to go everyday and we would eat all the sugary treats at every break. What about all the suckers, or fun dips. Hmm, fun dips or those tubes that are filled with the flavored sugar. Last night I made shredded chicken sandwiches and cheesy hashbrowns (YUM) I got one sandwich and a serving of the hashbrowns. I would have loved to have had another sandwich and some more hashbrowns, but NOOOOO I don't have enough carbs to do that.

Well, I can't say I feel any better about venting, b/c I still want to eat all the yummy stuff, but I guess I might feel a little better. THIS SUCKS!!!!!!

Circus Time

Well, we went to the circus tonight. It was real cheaply done, but Emma enjoyed it. She loved seeing all the animals. They had elephants, camels and dogs. During their break they were giving elephant rides, but Emma didn't get to go. They were loading the elephants with a bunch of kids and I wasn't about to put Emma up there. My luck she wouldn't sit still and would fall off. So, we settled for a pony ride and she liked that just as much. After that we left, b/c Emma just wasn't sitting still. As far as sitting still, neither was Chase. I don't know if he was triggered by all the noise or what, but that boy was kicking and moving during practically the whole show, I loved it!! Oh yea, Emma had cotton candy for the first time. She didn't want to try it, but once she did boy she didn't stop. She absolutely loved it!!! All in all, it was a fun family night. I just can't wait till we make it to the zoo. She will just love it, b/c she loves animals!!

Sesame Street Live

Last night we took Emma to Sesame Street Live. She absolutely LOVED it!!! I am so glad we went and will most likely go back when they come to town again. To tell ya the truth, I really enjoyed it to. It was so much fun to see the excited on her face and to hear her giggle at different stuff. They would shoot confetti into the air and it made quite a bit of noise and she would cover her mouth and say "oohhh". It was just too cute. Of course, I forgot my camera in the car, but Teresa (my sister-in-law) remembered hers. So, her are just a couple pics to give ya an idea.

Easter....I know I'm late!!

So, I'm a little late, I know. But here it goes.

Easter was fabulous this year. Emma had 4 egg hunts. At the first one she knew exactly what to do, you didn't have to tell her. She had a blast!! We have so much candy that it isn't even funny. Of course I've got it all put up, so it isn't a daily temptation to me or Emma. She gets a piece here and there, but I don't want her on a sugar high all the time. lol We also went to see the Easter Bunny, but no picture for proof. She was all excited to see him and was waving like crazy, but the minute she was within 3 feet of him she didn't want anything to do with him. So, needless to say no pic, but that is alright.

The day before Easter we had our own little family day, just the 3 of us. Emma colored eggs and I made some sugar cookies and icing and let her ice them. She loved that and ended up with icing all over her belly too. lol It was a lot of fun to have that family time together. I think it just might become tradition in my house. Then after she went to bed that night, the Easter Bunny aka Mommy and Daddy lol hid all the eggs and set out the Easter baskets. When Emma woke up the next morning and went into the living room she was all excited!! It was great seeing the excitement on her face. She loved finding the eggs too.

Easter Sunday it is family tradition that we all get up and go to church with Mom and Dad. Of course, Emma made it through the singing and that was it, that is all the farther she ever makes it. So, I spent most of the service in the nursery so that she wouldn't interupt the service for everyone else. After church we went back to Mom and Dad's and had lunch and a egg hunt. Once again, loved the egg hunt! After the egg hunt it was straight off to Matt's Grandma's for yet another egg hunt. This kid is in egg/candy heaven. lol After a long and exhausting day, we made it back home around 6pm and I was pooped!! We were all in bed asleep by 8pm that night, no kidding!!

I would have added pics, but for some reason it isn't letting me, so I will have to come back and try it later.