Private

Soon, I will be making my blog private. You ask why, b/c I don't even post anything (if I even have anyone that checks on it lol). Well, I've decided that I am going to start using it to help do a makeover on myself, but on the inside. I am turning into a person that I am not happy with and I am fed up with it. I've gotta do something, so this blog is going to turn into a diary. If you would like to follow, then just let me know.

Discouraged

So, Back at the end of April I became an Independant Demonstrator for Uppercase Living. It is an awesome company that does the adhesive vinyl for your walls, glass, windows, objects, pretty much any smooth surface. They have only been around for 4 years, so I thought this would be a great company to get involved with. Well, the company is great and the product is great, I'm just not doing great. I am really getting discouraged, b/c it just seems like I can't get the business to flow. I can't get people to have parties, whether it be in home or book parties. I have a facebook page and I try running specials for free product when you host a party, but just don't get any takers. What makes it even more discouraging for me is, my friend sells Gold Canyon candles and she is doing awesome! She has 2 girls sign up under and she seems to always be selling. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled for her, but it just makes me feel like even more of a loser. What am I doing wrong? Anyone have any suggestions out there? I need a way to get this info out there and get the ball rolling. I am wanting to help out my family financially, but it just isn't working. Ugh! Well, I guess I will visit some of my fellow bloggers and let them know about my website and see what they think. But like I said, if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. Thanks!!

5 Months!

So, it has been some time since I have blogged. Wow!

What has happened since May you ask? My baby boy turned 2, yes I said 2!! Went thru a cancer scare with my mom, but she is a-ok! My oldest baby started preschool. How crazy is that?! I still can't believe it myself!! She is not old enough to be doing this kind of stuff!! lol Went on vacation with my hubby, kids and parents to Gatlinburg. That was so much fun! We actuall had a black bear sit under our balcony looking up at us wanting food. Luckily we were several feet in the air, so he couldn't reach us. And for those who are wondering, we didn't give him any food. Yep, that's about it. lol

I am still a SAHM with babysitting kiddos during the week. Trying to help make ends meet, but it still gets rough. Think I am going to pick up a part time job a couple evenings a week to try and help out some more.

My kiddos are getting so big. Emma is now 4 1/2, but going on 30 it seems! She says some of the cutest things. She put a lemon on the rim of her glass and asked everyone if she was stylin. lol Then she has not only asked me, but her preschool teacher also if we get goosebumps when we poop too. lol That totally cracked me up, but when I found out she asked her teacher too. Now that is just hilarious. Emma is such a loving child with a huge streak of attitude and a mouth that never stops talking! I mean it, she never stops! At school they have a great saying that I try to use on her at home "zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket". It doesn't always work. She is doing great in preschool. She seems to be learning a lot. We will be having our first parent/teacher conference soon to hear about her progress. I am really excited to get some one on one time with the teacher to see how she feels she is doing. Emma is just awesome! She is my oldest and my only girl, but will always be my baby girl (even if she is a daddy's girl).

Chase is 2 now. He is also a little over 3ft tall too, he is gonna be tall like his daddy! He is ALL boy and I think I might have been pregnant with twin boys and he like ate him in the womb and just took on all of it's boy mischief too!! lol I'm telling you, he is constantly doing something and if he isn't physically doing something you can tell he is thinking about what he can do next. He has absolutely no fear. He turned a garbage can that we usually keep dog food in upside down and jumped off of it. He loves the trampoline. He can give you this grin when he is doing something he isn't suppose to that just makes you want to laugh so hard instead of get after him. He doesn't really talk a lot, but if you remember in the above paragraph that is probably why. lol He is a cute little blonde hair, blue eyed boy with a huge streak of mean. lol He is just rotten, but love him to death. He is def a mommy's boy and I love every minute of it! He is my baby, my last and he is just growing up too fast!!

Matt and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary this past May. Can't believe it's been 5 years! We have had our ups and downs, but we have made them through together. I love that man so much, he truely means the world to me. He works so hard to provide for our family and he is such a great daddy! I couldn't have asked for a better father, you can just see the pride and love in his eyes when he looks or talks about his kids!! He is my love!

Well, my energy level has finally died down (at 11:38pm), better shower and go to bed, gotta get up at 6:30. I will try to blog more often, but no promises. G'night!

I'm in a rut!

So, I haven't blogged in forever! Why you ask? I have no idea why, just haven't taken the time I guess. But I need to come on here and just vent, let some things off my chest.
Right now my struggle is with, myself. Be prepared, I'm gonna sound like a bad mom and trust me, I feel like one. I was some time to myself! I was a couple of days that I don't have to worry about anyone but me. I was to come and go as I please, sleep when I want to sleep, not change a diaper, not have to constantly be watching someone. I just want to be able to do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids to pieces!! They are my world, but I've just been so stressed and overwhelmed lately. It is turning me into a person that I don't want to be. I'm quicker to yell, get annoyed a lot easier, lost my patience and I am gaining weight. I just want to take a couple of days and find the old me again. I want to be able to relax so I can come back and be a better mom and wife to my family. I just need to unravel! Ugh! I need to get out of this rut! A nice thing is, I think I am going to be able to have a little get away. A friend of mine is going to be having a baby soon and I'm going to go stay with her a couple of days to help her out. I'm really excited about it, b/c 1 I get some time away and 2 I don't ever get to see her so I will get some girl time!!
Ok, enough of that. This month on the 21st Matt and I will be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary! We are gonna go away for the night and go to some wineries. I'm pretty excited. I get to reconnect with the hubby!! Time for just us, which those of you with kids know that time for you and your spouse becomes harder once you have kids.
I also started selling Uppercase Living. It's my way of being able to contribute to my family without taking a lot of time away from them. Plus it is some really cool stuff!! I have my first party tonight, I'm excited and nervous all in one!
Well, I could go on, but Chase is getting into everything. Gotta run!

What 2010 has brought to me, my family and friends. Continuing to greive the loss of friend. Nephew turning 6, Emma turning 4, Mom & Dad's 36 years together, good friend finding out she is having a little girl, MIL's birthday, Matt's birthday and Gpa Jack turning 79!! Good health for me, my kids, my dad and siblings. A hiatal hernia for my hubby, a month long migraine for my mom, hubby's cousin's house fire, mil surgery, uncle's surgery, real good friends surgery, another friend getting a divorse, another friend's grandparent passing away and possible surgery for hubby to fix hiatal hernia. So, here I am venting, b/c so many people are not getting a very good start to the new year. But you know what, I am going to pray for those that need help and praise God for all I do have. My silver lining is, we go on vacation in March!!! YAY!! It is gonna be much needed!!!!

I am my mother's child

Lately I have been thinking about who I am. What qualities I have gotten from each of my parents. I must say, that I take after my dad a lot! I have a quick temper, major road rage, bull headed, stubborn, strong, can be quite jealous and don't let people take advantage of me. I was starting to wonder if I had any qualities from my mom. Well, I have one of her best qualities, her heart. I care for people, I may not come across that way sometimes, but I truely do. I hate to see people suffering and sad. I recently had a friend from school pass away and I am beating myself up for not being there for her. I should have been by her side for all that she went thru. I should have been her strength, I should have helped her with her family. I should have been one of those people that she would call to just talk and get things off her chest. I should of, but I wasn't. We drifted apart like a lot of people do after school. I have another friend that we had a falling out bc of her death. Even tho I am still hurt by it all, I will still be there for her if she needs me. Right now I don't know if she deserves for me to do that, but that doesn't matter to me. I'll be there, no questions asked. I have another friend that we had a falling out a year or so ago, but we are good now. I will always be there for her too. I will be there for any of my friends. I will do anything I can to help them out, to make them smile. They are my friends and I love them all and I will always be there for them. That is my mom in me. She is such a kind and caring person, grant it, she has quite a bigger heart than me, but I am blessed to have part of her heart. I thank her for that, I am so grateful for that quality. I have always said that if I am half the woman that she is that I will consider myself blessed, I don't know if I am quite to half, but as I get older I am finding myself to be more like her. I am finding myself to have a kinder heart. I know I am rambling, but that is what my mind has been like for a while now. Maybe you can find sense in this blog, hopefully you can. I'll end with something that just made me feel awesome, I got the best compliment this week. I was doing a text forward saying "You are driving down the road and a song came on that made you think of me. What is the song." One of my friends replied Wind Beneath My Wings bc you are a lot of ppls strength. That is the best compliment I have ever received. Thanks!!! You have made my year!!!

Ready for 2011!

So, I'm not at all impressed with 2010! Let's see we did have a wonderful start tho! Emma has turned 4 and we had a Spiderman party for her. I really don't know what the obssession is with Spiderman, but it doesn't really matter. She had a blast at her party.
Now onto the not so good. Mom has had a migraine for over a week now. They can't seem to get rid of it. She has tried the normal demeral shot that usually takes them away, but it hasn't worked. They said she needs to make an appt with a nuerologist and get a scan on her head. She said she doesn't need it, but I will make sure she gets it!!
Matt has been having really bad stomach pains. It hurts all the time, but especially after he eats. We go tomorrow to get an ultrasound on his gull bladder, then Tuesday we go for an upper gi to check for ulcers. I'm not sure what I want to come of all of this. I wish he was just fine, but he isn't. So, I guess it would be best for them to find what is wrong and fix it.
One of my really good friends has to talk to a surgeon about her gull bladder and she might have to have it taken out. Then my mother-in-law has to have surgery on her shoulder.
So, let's see...it is the 12th day of the new year and I'm ready for it to be over!! But let's look at the silver lining...(I have always tried to find the silver lining for everyone else, but I'm gonna start doing it for myself too) I have my health, I am able to help the ones going thru these things. I may be worn down and exhausted, but atleast I am able to be those things. I am able to still stand strong and be there for those who need me. My kids are healthy and crazy. There isn't anything wrong with them, they are healthy active kids!!
I have more I would like to blog about but to tell ya the truth, I really don't feel like sitting here any longer typing. lol Hopefully, I will get back on here soon and blog some more.